“But this is what I know about people getting ready to walk on the edge of their own lives: they want someone to know how they got there. Maybe they want to know that when they dissolve into earth and water, that last fragment will be saved, held in some corner of someone’s mind; or maybe all they want is a chance to dump it pulsing and bloody into someone else’s hands, so it won’t weigh them down on the journey. They want to leave their stories behind. No one in all the world knows that better than I do.” 

– Broken Harbour by Tana French

The idea and the thoughts around it refuse to leave me since the time I have come across these lines. Words can be so powerful! Surprisingly though, what has been on my mind is not the worry about leaving my story behind, but the peace from knowing that my story has already been taken care of. If I were to make my grand exit tonight, I know how my story and and how that last fragment is going to be well looked after by her.

And this thought shakes me up a little. It shakes my entire being when I realize the enormity of the privilege it is to have a friend like her. A friend who though entered later on in life, can make up for all the missed time. A friend who might be in the difficult most times of her life but won’t forget to ask after you. A friend who has the capacity to hate you at times for your shit with the deep rooted awareness of her love for you. A friend who can be anywhere in the world but continues to be a call away. A friend who knows how you have charted that blue and lonely section of hell. A friend who really knows where in life have you come from. A friend who does the talking for you even in times when you have turned against yourself. The kind of friend who can make up for having none other in your life ever again.

Do you feel it too? The surge of emotion? To think that you actually know one such person to be alive and a part of your life! I am grateful.

 

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