“Which is better in life? Best thing at a late time or sometimes at an appropriate time OR an average, ordinary thing (sometimes even inappropriate or wrong thing) but at the right time (or lets say without any delay)??? It’s my eternal question!”

This is a text message I received in the evening, from one of my most dear friends! I have been thinking quite a bit about this since then and thus was unable to reply to my friend as well. I tried to type out an appropriate response but I felt I was unable to do justice to the several thoughts racing in my mind at that point.

So, coming back to the question, what is really more appropriate? Waiting for the right thing, for whenever it happens or being happy with whatever one gets, when one wants it (at the right time, so to speak!). To clarify first, ever since my training in psychology and REBT in particular, I have begun to look at questions in terms of the goal one has in mind. So if my question is “Whether I should study right now or go hang out with friends”. I quickly need to check where I want to go with it. Ofcourse I don’t think so much for everything, if I want to eat an ice-cream, I go ahead without a second thought; but I have realized that about certain things and areas, it is essential to know where you want to go, before you choose that road! This question thus, makes me wonder where I want to go with it.

The two alternatives give me two paths accordingly. If I want to wait for the right thing, I shall choose to do so accordingly, regardless of how long it takes to get it; conversely if I want something now, which I consider is the best time, I go ahead with it without being worried about whether or not this is the right time! In either case, I’m choosing based on the direction I have chosen to go in.  That, essentially is my only response to the question I have thinking so much about.

If only the mind stopped at what is the solution apparently. But I have been wondering about the genesis of such a doubt as well, because I have faced such a dilemma more often than not in life. When I’m worried about whether to go ahead right now or wait till I think the time is right, I’m probably worried about the outcomes of both the situations. I want the best in life possible, at all times. With such an unrealistic want, I also run the risk of becoming more and more demanding of such a perfect situation in life all the times. I want to be able to decide appropriately each time, or more extremely, I want that there be nothing lesser than the best that I end up deciding upon. If this is the rut I will get stuck in, I will probably never be able to be happy with the decision I make, regardless of the time or thing being right or wrong because focusing more on ‘what if’.

Live in the moment, live in the now and choose wisely, that is, based on where you want to go!