“…it was when I put my camera down that I actually began to see them…”

This is a dialogue from one of my favourite movies (the name of which I keep forgetting all the time).

Of late I have found myself worrying over whether I made the most of the past five years. I’m reaching an important transition in life…and end of being a formal student and a shift between cities and lifestyle! Frequently, it gives me a feeling of impending doom, and it is more to do with the fact that such drastic changes are involved than anything about the kind of changes themselves.

I constantly evaluate whether or not all opportunities have been realized, whether I’ve seen all the places I should have, whether I was good with the people I came across, whether a little bit of push here and there might have yielded something different etc etc.

These thoughts are rather consuming in nature, almost like they have a life and mind of their own! I have been disappointed, have had moments of pride, have broken down with tears and what not in this process of evaluation! It’s an endless process.

I’ve tried to find refuge from this cycle of thoughts and have been wondering who and what can be my relief?

I’m on my way to completing the novel ‘Eat, pray and love’ and I was almost wishing I could embark on a spiritual quest already and seek some important answers.

But this one simple dialogue brought me back to reality. The web that I seem to be caught in is something that I’ve essentially created for myself almost like I’m being melodramatic in a situation where a benign is more appropriate. And almost instantly, I’m relieved.

What I need to do is put my camera down (read stop analyzing) so that I can actually see things around (read live each moment fully).

It sounds rather simplistic doesn’t it? Almost like ‘well happy realization woman’ but trust me, the closer the problem is to you, the harder it is to appraise it objectively and ‘deal’ with it. Almost like doctors cannot and should not operate on themselves!

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